Southern Man Tries Scottish Food

– Maybe I can interest in you in this as like a broker of peace. (suspenseful synth music) (laughing) Freedom. (upbeat bluegrass music) – Hey y’all, it’s Matt. And I am with– – Chris, me. Christopher Harress.
– Christopher Harress. I am going to be trying
Scottish snacks, treats. – Snox. They’re from Scotland,
I didn’t bring them. So this is a Tunnock’s
Caramel Wafer Biscuit. – That’s not a biscuit. – You guys got biscuits messed up. This is a biscuit. – No. – No, your biscuits are a scone to us. – I will fight you. – So this is an individually
wrapped little Tunnock. And so back in Scotland, you’d
put these in your lunchbox on the way to school. And it’s made in Scotland. And it’s got all the same garbage that your stuff has in it. – This is like a short, fat
Kit Kat bar from around here. – Well give it a whirl
and see what happens. – I will give it a whirl. – Chocolate should be
a little bit different. I think you do it
differently on chocolates. Done a little bit differently from yours. – Less chocolatey. The inside of this is
pretty much tasteless. What am I supposed to be tasting in this? – Think about it this way. Think about maybe when you
build a picture in your head there’s just these people and
they’re in a factory, right? And they’re singin’, and
they’re all wearin’ kilts, and it’s snowin’ outside,
but there’s candles, and they’re puttin’ together
these things for your joy. – They’re in a factory
but it’s candle lit? – Yeah ’cause it’s romantic. (laughing) – I don’t not like it. I just don’t think it’s delicious. – Okay. – It’s okay. – Fine. (laughing) Can you rate the packaging? – This looks like a circus to me. This is like the circus is in town. And you take a bite of it and it’s like oh, the circus sucks. Southern rating system, I give this one out of five opossums. – Oh. (laughing) If you’re willing to move
on, I’d like us to move on. – I’m ready. – But I mean emotionally. – I’m ready. – ‘Cause I know that was difficult. You’ve all seen this at the grocery store. – Not in my Walmart, nope. I like dogs. – Yeah well. – I have beagles, so– – So this is shortbread
made from pure butter. This is also made in Scotland. And it has, sir, it has
the Queen’s crest on it, which means it’s approved by her. Oh look! – That dog has been massacred. – No. So in my family, we would normally dip
these in tea, hot tea. – Oh my God. Have you ever tried putting
sugar and ice in your tea? – No, I don’t like that. I’ll put ice– (laughing) Give me back my dog. (laughing) What bit did you eat? – The head. – Me, too. – Yeah. I like these. These are better than the circus bars. I give these three out
of five Forrest Gumps. – Oh! – Ping pong playing Forrest Gump. Not sitting on a park
bench with chocolates. – All right, next up. So this is, this orange
substance is what we call in Scotland Irn Bru. This is an interesting soft drink. Scotland’s one of the
few places in the world where Coca-Cola is not the
best selling soft drink. It’s our hangover cure, it’s our after the soccer
match drink, it’s a mixer. This smells great. Bottled childhood. – This looks like a
diluted Sunkist in a way. It’s just a little paler orange. – Wow, it’s lost a little
fizz, I think, in transit. – What flavor is that supposed to be? – Fruit. – Fruit? All the fruit. – It says fruit flavored drink. Look at the coloring, sunset yellow. That’s romantic. – If I have to describe the flavor I would have to say doctor’s office. That’s what it taste like. I’m hoping that I get the magic that you’re getting out of it. And I keep tryin’ and it’s not there. – Hey look, there’s an
email address on here. Consumer Care at Send them an email. I don’t want to hear it anymore. – This right here I would say
is one Dolly out of seven. – What? – What would you compare
this to in America? Like what– – I don’t know. There’s definitely orange drinks out there that this is similar to but
it’s fine, we can move on. So this is a Custard Cream. This is another type of biscuit. Although on the back it
says sandwich biscuit. – Don’t call it biscuits. – What would you call this, cookie? – Cracker, cookie. These, from what I can tell, have not been approved by the Queen. – That’s correct. – Okay. – She don’t like custard. According to her MySpace. No Custard Creams for me. This is another thing you
would dip in tea, hot tea. – We like putting cornbread
in buttermilk in the South. – Sounds wholesome and stuff. Can’t wait for you to tell me
how much no flavor is in this. – This might be the best thing
that I’ve had so far today. I like this a lot. – Yeah? – Yeah. – Continue. – This is like Oreo’s little brother. Not as cool, but some redeeming qualities. We agree that it is what the package says. I can’t read it, it’s in your language. – Vanilla flavor cream sandwich biscuit. – I think really that
Scotland only apparently has access to like ten ingredients. – Yeah. – And y’all are like Taco Bell. You are Earth’s Taco Bell. – Earth’s Taco Bell. (laughing) – I give this four real biscuits, covered in real gravy, out of five. (clapping) – Okay, this is another product that formed a lot of my childhood. These are Cherry Bakewells. I took them out of the packaging
’cause it was destroyed. But basically, there’s a cherry, there’s kinda like a vanilla
icing type thing on the top, there’s layers, I think there’s
like jam in there somewhere. – This looks like congealed bacon grease. Just right in there. What do you call these? – Cherry Bakewells. – I like it. The crust is a little dry but
that’s not a terrible thing. – Oh, when I was a kid, I
used to pick the cherries off. – Yeah.
– And my mom would be like where the hell are the
cherries Christopher? (laughing) – Is that the equivalent of
going to the ice cream aisle and licking the Blue Bell ice cream and then putting it back? – Oh yeah. – Stealing the cherries
off of the Bakewells? These I liked a lot. Five out of five crawfish,
five out of five. – Is that a real five out of five? – That’s a legit five out of five. – All right. – Get your claws about this. Little cats, cats. – You think that’s how we say it? – Yes. Persian, Siberian, Snow Shoe, Ragdoll, Exotic Shorthair, Siamese. – Siamese. – British Shorthair.
– British Shorthair. – Maine Coon.
– Maine Coon. You have not met anyone
that talks that way. – I have. – Tillman’s Corner? – Yeah, Tillman’s Corner. – What does the cats have to do with it? – Cats love Vanilla Fudge. (laughing) Well it’s for old people, right? So you know old people like
cats, old people like fudge. Old people package. So you know when you’re in
your maybe your parents, maybe your grandparents house and you find the Danish cookies? – Yes. – And all that’s in
there is sewing supplies? Same thing. They give you a nice container. What’s going to go in here
is something like yarn. – Oh, this is fudgey. This is very gritty. A lot of texture. – Just swallow it straight down. – That’s not good. There’s where the sugar is at in Scotland. They’re putting it all
in the Vanilla Fudge. I give these– – Before you give the ranking, look at this Persian cat a little closer. Please? – I think I give this 1.75 cottonmouths. – I saw you didn’t even eat all of it. – No. – It was that bad? – You want it? – So here we have, also
from the Walker’s brand, famous for it’s Scottie Dog Shortbread, is the Highland Oat Cake. We get some cheese, it will
come in these little packets. I’ll take that one since
I know what I’m doin’. – This is the saddest lookin’ food I’ve ever seen in my life. You have to agree with me. This is just the color of sadness. – It’s good wholesome food without any of your chocolates, and sugar, and whatever else that’s
been pumped into it. – If this color was a Crayola crayon it would just be labeled death. – You’re a vicious, you know that? (laughing) So this is crumbly cheddar
cheese from the United Kingdom. So many flavors. – No, just one. – What’s the one flavor? – Meh. My mouth is already so dry. I haven’t even swallowed this yet. – Oh, here ya go. – It taste like– All right you know the
package of instant oatmeal? Okay, so just rip open
the pack and then eat it. – If you’re gonna compare
the Oat Cake to a musician, what musician would you go for? – Like Nickleback. (laughing) This is not good. Like this is not edible. – Maybe I could interest you in this as like a broker of peace. (suspenseful synth music) (laughing) Freedom. – The biscuits and the cheese, just like the experience all together, I give it zero out of five mullets. – Oh my God. And this is like my favorite snack ever. – The little vanilla
cookies, those were good. Your oat coasters were just depressing. – Yeah. – In conclusion, what I learned today is that some Scottish
food, usually the sweets, can be very, very good. But also, on the other
end of the spectrum, they are tasteless, pointless, and really don’t qualify as food. And also, that if it has the
seal approved by the Queen that means nothin’. (upbeat bluegrass music) A billet. – A bullet, tackle. Tackle for watching. (laughing)

100 thoughts on “Southern Man Tries Scottish Food

  1. Listening to him talk is making me want to watch Miss Doubtfire real bad for some reason. Toomer's corner war eagle 🐯🐯

  2. I order the same brand caramel bars, "Crawford" brand custard creams, and the kind of fudge tried here (which is not creamy like fudge we do in the USA, as Matt pointed out) from a British online store. I also get other snack foods that may not be "Scottish". Walkers shortbread can be found everywhere in the US, and is yummy. It is nice to try all these different foods!

  3. The Scottish man showed a lot of restraint evne in the face of mildly hostile provocation – and his CAYUT pronunciations were spot on!!!!!!

  4. These two are perfect reflection of the status of the two peoples. Murican… obese and arrogant whose tastebuds have been killed by all the high fructose corn syrup. Scottish: trying to offer something graciously while the dumb arrogant Murican with his unearned sense of entitlement shitting all over anything that is different.

  5. Note please- Southern people are NOT generally so rude or inhospitable- Matt is either having a blood sugar crash, or a mild monthly hormonal fluctuation. Apologies to Scotland and Scots

  6. Walkers has scottie dog shaped crackers?!?!? Oh my goodness, my dad is getting these for xmas. He's always banging on about how Scottish we are. He'll devour them lol

  7. Matt, Bless your heart, you just don’t appreciate the finer snacks in life. Scottish oatcakes are yummy and their shortbread is 8 Dolly’s out of 5. Take heart, Chris. Your accent is 9 banjos out of 1.
    Edit: Matt, yer manners today are 0 catfish out of 10. Tsk.

  8. Don't forget to celebrate National Guacamole Day tomorrow, Monte Cristo Sandwich Day on Tuesday, Cheeseburger Day on Wednesday, Fried Rice Day and String Cheese Day on Friday, Eat-an-Apple Day and Chai Day on Saturday, along with Ice Cream Cone Day and White Chocolate Day on Sunday. Enjoy…

  9. I do love shortbread. Walkers is good and the most famous but try Campbells. Those are what I get if someone in the family doesn't make it. The recipe has been in the family for hundreds of years.

  10. Fear not Scotsman, Matt likes Fruit Loops best of american breakfast cereal. His taste is "silly" and he wants to consume clown fuel.

  11. "It's a Southern Thing" is truly a funny and family-friendly channel, but now that you have started the Scottish/Southern competition (and a lot of Scots & Irish immigrated to the the SE USA!), you'll have to post a "corn squeezin's" competition.
    That might be one of those "age verification required" videos.

  12. The way he talks about the food makes me wonder if Scottish food has less sugar than American food. America’s food has so much sugar in it compared to other countries.

  13. I know it isn’t a snack, but a friend of mine was in Scotland a few years back with a mostly British band he was in at a time and got a deep fried burger at a traditional Scottish pub the founding British members took him too, so that he and the other American in the group could get a real taste of traditional food. Now I don’t know how traditional that dish was, but knowing Mat’s taste I feel like Christopher should have eased him in with that and then could have probably got him to eat ANYthing TRUly traditional after that, lol.

  14. You needed to give him Digestives (chocolate ones, preferably), Galaxy chocolates, black currant drink, Cadbury flake, and maybe some Jaffa Cakes. So many great Scottish snacks that haven't been tried.

  15. This video should just be called 'matt insulting Scottish food and basically the whole country for 9 minutes and 53 seconds straight.'

  16. Cookies ARE NOT BISCUITS! This video proves it! Those English biscuits are nothing more than tea cakes and sweet biscuits! Give these people some delicious sausage gravy over biscuits! A heart attack waiting to happen!

  17. 3/5 ping pong forrest gumps!!! i rolled around the floor 😂 and then using DOLLY MY QUEEN 😂😂😂😂😂 this video is really funny

  18. Wow! You really threw Tillman’s corner under the bus there. Have you been to Citronelle, Al? He really got the accent down! 😆

  19. Y'all better bring out the mince meat tarts by Walkers for Christmas. So NOMMY! I LOVE this coming together of my two worlds. I am very excited for more from you two. ❤😊❤😊❤😊❤

  20. I think us ladies give Christopher a 10 out of 7 Robert Redfords! And Matt where are your manners you aren't being very southern!

  21. I love Walkers Shortbread!! And something I wish I could find here that I really enjoyed when I visited Scotland……Scottish fudge!

  22. As a person who has had real biscuits and real scones I can say with confidence that they are two different things.
    We will fight you…and we will win

  23. As a Californian living in Minnesota, I totally identify with this. Me: "do they use spice here?" Minnesotan opens a jar of mayonnaise and a bag of flour.

    And don't get me started on "authentic" Mexican and Chinese restaurants. This state is slowly starving me to death.

  24. You must understand the arrogant thinking of the Texas man. They expect you to love everything southern BUT can be hateful and stubborn when it comes to anything not southern (Texan). Sorry my Scottish friend.

  25. If it’s not shortbread you make yourself, then Walkers is the best. I have 100% southern blood running through my veins. My daddy used to drink his hot tea “the old way”, milk and sugar. I drink my English Breakfast tea hot and black

  26. I've been eating food from the UK and other European countries all my life and I can safely say all those things don't taste "good" to you for the sole fact that they are not loaded with msg, corn syrup, and the other unhealthy and even carcinogenic garbage you are used to from American food.

  27. The Scottish man was so kind and was sharing his favorite food with a hopeful attitude. This video was hard to watch. I’ve loved all the food tasting videos, till this one where someone’s feelings were hurt. I hope he will be shown Southern friendliness next time!

  28. Too bad they didn’t try Tunnocks Tea Cakes. Those things are amazing. (Cookie, marshmallow fluff, covered in chocolate. Like Pinwheels but actually good)

  29. K, hubby and I been married 30 yrs, me born here in N California, hubby Louisiana. So my taste buds have changed….crystal hot sauce, any hot cajun spice at grocery here-we have, in r kitchen.

    Buttt , I lived with gramma & grampa lots growing up…so them, from Maine…I was used to lots of potato chowder things and bisquits I get the neutral tasting food, and the 'I need a spoon of yogurt or sour cream cuz that gumbo has a zillion peppers in it, but I like it' way too ; )

    I have been to England and Ireland. I do have to say, England and Ireland did kinda have sorta non taste? I carried pepper & salt in my purse~ not dissin on folks culture or food, since when yer hungry, you are happy for food! I think the tea thing was one I wasnt used to. Iam a water / apple juice person? since driving instead of bus or etc, lots of tea would make me need ladies room(bladder fills kinda fast)..& since not any rest stops on little rds through England&Ireland..I didnt do tea any more~

    Its super amazing though, over there(sorry, didnt have time to get to Scottland, darn it)….maybe my taste of food is more spicey crawfish, but historical stuff sure isnt neutral flavored! Lord almighty there are castles and stone circles in fields of sheep! That blew my mind!! and not tourist crowd..just knock on door & ask if its ok to quietly check out the castle in their field, & they are – "awe o'corse, take yer time, no rush about here'"☺ Luv your vid, & guest from Scottland! xo from N CA ~

  30. Scones are available here but they are mostly sweet and go with coffee. Biscuits are savory, life giving and go with gravy and/or meat..

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