Hi everyone. Baltimore Ravens player Ray Rice
had his contract terminated this week after TMZ released footage of Rice knocking his
wife out cold in an elevator. In honor of this vicious and horrific act
of violence, I thought I would do a Ray Rice-inspired makeup tutorial.
So the first step, as always, is foundation. And I’m using a new shade I just bought called
The NFL. I really like this color, because it’ll cover
up anything just to save face. And really make sure you get in to every nook
and cranny, because you want to make sure nothing unsavory leaks out.
This sport is all about getting drunk and watching people push other people over. It’s
about integrity. So the next step, you’re gonna wanna put on
an eye primer. I’m using one other color called, um, Intersectional
Feminism. And a lot of people complain, like, “why do
I have to use Intersectional Feminism, you know, like, why does my feminism have to include
people of all genders and races and orientations? Like, why, you know?” And to those people,
generally the best thing to do is, um, read a f***ing history book.
Next step is eye shadow, and you guys know I love my eye shadow.
So your crease color is #27, which is Ray Rice’s jersey number for the Baltimore Ravens
— or, former jersey number, I guess. It’s so hard to get used to people getting fired
for doing bad things. (LAUGHS) You know? And the other color you’re going to be using
is #25, which in the state of Maryland is the number of years you serve in prison for
felony assault. “You should be serving this… ah, but we’re
not gonna make you do it! We’re not gonna make you do it, ’cause you play football!”
Eyeliner’s next. I’m using a color called Women Are Objects.
And you’re just gonna want to ring your eyes like all the way around, um, like a wedding
ring. And think about, like, when you put on a wedding
ring it means that the guy that gave you the ring can do whatever he wants to you, and
it’s automatically you’re fault. Like, say he knocked you out cold in an elevator, and
then everyone found out about it, and people started blaming you because you put on the
wedding ring, so like, you’re kinda asking for it. You know, like, did you read Corinthians?
You know, like “Love is patient, love is kind, love will punch you in an elevator occasionally,
and suppress it so that they can continue to play football”? That’s really what you’re
getting at with the whole, you know, puttin’ a ring on it thing.
And don’t forget to throw on some mascara. I’m using, um, Mismanaged Rage.
Bronzer time! I love this name, it’s so punny, it’s Orange You Sad That the American News Source
Most Dedicated to Truthful Journalism Turned Out to Be TMZ. Like, just a laugh riot, you
know? Rub it in the NFL’s face, you know what I
mean? Like, just rub it in. And the final step, as always, is lips. And
this is one of my favorite colors, it’s called We Can Do Better.
Millions of North American women are violently or verbally assaulted by their domestic partner,
and we find reasons not to help them. And that’s why I choose to put on We Can Do Better
today. Remember, there’s always an alternative to
covering up violence. You don’t have to be like the NFL.
If you’re interested, I’ve included some links to resources dedicated to helping women in
distress in the link box below, so you can check those out.
If you like this video, please like it and share it. And you can subscribe to my channel,
I release a new video every week. You can connect with me on Twitter and on
my website, or right here on YouTube in the comments below. I’d love to hear what you
have to say. That’s it for now guys. Bye.