Caveman Episode 2 – Cooking

Having completed his washing, the suburban caveman is ready for his next adventure he decides that maybe a spot of cooking, is just the thing he needs to do. He inspects the cookbook, quizzically turns it around and opens to the first page he decides that he probably doesn’t need instructions and gently discards the book. After all, how hard can cooking be? all that is needed to be done is to get the ingredients how much ingredients and which ingredients is a bit of a mystery but the caveman ploughs ahead fearlessly Little bit of tomato maybe Cucumber why not little bit of corn on the cob excellent Whatever that is Cauliflower Onions and meat because it’s special suddenly he has a conundrum and it is to do with the stock he can’t take vegetable stock cause he has meat but he does not have chicken so he can’t take the chicken stock in the end he had found some beef stock what he has is lamb but beef is meat lamb is meat that will do The next step in the process is to do the cooking he finds the chopping block where he remembers it last was hidden and clears the chopping area next getting the groceries out of the bag and putting the bag away in a typical caveman fashion he decides to use the slow cooker for this endeavour and after blowing of the dust diligently cleans it with his hand he finds the chopping knife and then proceeds with chopping and preparing the meal One would not say that chopping onions is the caveman’s strong suit Some people cry when they cut onions does not seem to be the case with the caveman mushrooms who needs to rinse mushrooms corns packaging seems to be challenging But the caveman surpases this and succeeds in chopping up the corn next step in the process is to get the tomatoes in the mix He unwraps the cauliflower and then to his dismay it had seen better days Still he uses it next up is the meat preparation He had gotten lamb chops Not an ideal meat for slow cooking But he presses on regardless It almost seems to the untrained eye as if the caveman has no idea of what he is doing he cuts up the asparagus adds that to the mix as well opens up the stock unceremoniously adds that in and with that the caveman only has to add the lentils and the whole process but for adding the water is complete he adds the water and then remembers that he had forgotten to add the cucumber he gets the cucumber chops it up according to size he does struggle with this a bit adds it into the bowl and finally gets the slow cooker started upon reflection the caveman has decided the meal does not contain enough meat problem is easily solved though when he gets SPAM he cuts up the spam and adds that to the dish as well to make it complete One almost wants to quote Shakespeare and say Double double toil and trouble this looks like an horrendous mix no doubt the caveman is happy with it and feels very sophisticated.

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